It's a big thing forgiveness. When you've been hurt, what you feel seems so real, so true and like it's the only thing that matters. Your anger and your resentment are what hold you together sometimes. Without them, you become a blubbering mess who can't hold it together. You feel justified in your feelings when you haven't forgiven. Because if you forgive, you can't be angry anymore.
Being hurt by someone you care about is a hard thing to get over, but what I've learned is that in order to 'get over it', you have to find it somewhere within you to forgive. Forgive them for what they did. Cease to feel resentment toward them. Grant them pardon for their indiscretion. Their actions. The pain they inflicted upon you.
"He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love..." Martin Luther King
Martin Luther King was right when he said this. If you haven't found the power to forgive someone, your ability to love any other will be severely limited. You'll harbour a pain inside of you that will rear its ugly head when something triggers a memory. But, if you can find the power to forgive then your capacity for love will be greater.
Although it has been a long and hard road to true forgiveness for me, I have forgiven. But forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. I will never forget the hurt, the pain and the anger I felt, but what is different now is it's just a memory. Not a consuming emotion. I've learned. And now, I'm ready to love again.
I've been a little addicted to Adele's new album 21 and one song in particular. Its words aren't necessarily for me in this point of time (they are perfect for a friend of mine, I wish they'd listen to them!) but they are amazing words and the song is focused on two things - love & forgiveness. You can watch her sing this live below. But the key line in the song that hits home for me is -
Forgive your past, and simply be mine.
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