Have you noticed how easy it is for children to make friends? They just walk up to the kid that has the coolest toy and instantly they're friends. As adults, it seems to be much harder.
After high school is one of those opportunities where you form a new circle of friends. And then again maybe after university. But what are you supposed to do when you're nearing the ripe old age of 30? I know that's not old, but making new friends and becoming part of a friendship circle seems so much harder when we're 'all grown up'.
I've recently moved back to Qld, and I'm so glad that I have. But I can't help but think, will I be able to make new friends, or will I sit at home on my days off and will my nights consist of watching Masterchef while eating a Weight Watchers microwave meal and downing half a bottle of NZ's finest Sav Blanc? Cos this isn't what I want....
I want a group of friends to have dinner with, to go to the movies regularly with, to have birthday celebrations where we all bring amazing presents. I want that group of friends that you know will be there for you no matter what the crisis - and at times they'll make the crisis seem worse, but it'll be ok because you'll always have them.
So this is what I want. I want my Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. And I want to be the best friend I can be to them. So lets see how I go....
Hi Daniel
ReplyDeleteI completely resonate with this post and I'm only 7 years your junior, so make friends seems to increase in difficulty once you leave behind educational environments.
Having moved from Sydney to Melbourne and leaving my 'study buddies' behind, I was worried about increasing my already existant group of friends. Thankfully I had some pre-established ones who are the type you've describe; they're there when it counts.
A few tips that I've picked up since moving; be open to your friends' friends. Though you may not know them, chances are you're likely to click given your mutual friendship(s). You may even find stronger bonds!
Go to events you normally would say no to. I check my social fear at the door and mingle as much as I can. I've gravitated between groups and found discussions that I have opinions on allowing me to connect with others.
Utilise social networking. Being gay, social networking/dating has been part of my friendship-making scheme for awhile now. Though apps like Grindr and Gaydar, etc. are meant for dating, you can end up meeting some interesting individuals. Numbers are sparse in this field but I've made a few so it does happen.
Try new hobbies. Since living in Melbourne I've joined a charity, swam with a regular swim team, partaken in group fitness, joined a netball team and gone to work functions. They all expose you to new and interesting people, ones that are like minded and willing to open up their lives to include you.
Ok, so I've rambled plenty but hopefully that helps. Unfortunately you'll lose a few friends along the way but not all friendships are long-lasting. Perhaps in a follow up post, you could come up with a plan of attack and relate your triumphs? It might help focus and expand on areas you hadn't considered for possible friendships?
I look forward to reading about your future trip to Abu Dhabi.
Luke